You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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