Say something about gay babies.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
