i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
