I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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