escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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