Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
