piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize