Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
