So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
