Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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