And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
