Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Small penises have feelings too.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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