I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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