I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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