Just fell off a train. Bad.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
