Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
someone owes me an orgasm
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
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