and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
