the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
