I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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