they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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