I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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