Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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