I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize