Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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