Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
