i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
