dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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