They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize