is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
