Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
