so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize