My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
