Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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