We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
