I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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