They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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