Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
