Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
