He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
so let's talk penis.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
