But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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