it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
