Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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