She announced her abortion via fbk
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
