fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
