It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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