Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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