my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
