i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
