Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I could fuck to npr.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
