fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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