It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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