He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
