I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
