You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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