Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
