As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
