I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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