i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
bring money and cleavage
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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