im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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