I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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