i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
