Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
