i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
