some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
